my saturday

-so today i woke up with no plans, but ended up going to a bbq beer pong party. had fun, danced a little, and did the usual ya knoe. met a few cute guys, but none that i was interested in. lately i havent been interested in any guy or want to get into anything with any guy anymore. because i really don't care.

-oh sam wrote back to that somewhat break up letter. he was shocked i'd say??. i dont know lols. he answered saying something like so...you want to take a break?!?!. i guess he was madd to, i'm guess he doesn't want to stop. i asked him what he wants because he never tells me how he feels or what he wants, and i'm always lost. everytime i feel that way, or i feel like he doesnt want me anymore i try to break it off with him, and no matter how many times i do that or how many times i try to push him away or how many times i bitch at him and assume shyt about his doins and where abouts or no matter how many times i get jealous and how jealous i get. he never wants to leave me or stop talkin. he sticks around, i don't understand why, i guess he does want this and im just to stubborn to see it because i want more. i want him to tell me, i want him to show me. i really don't know where we stand, but we'll see.

-oh && in the dayy, i watched "sam i am". it had me crying. its a good movie. i liked it. but ima continue this some other time because that party got me worn out. goodnight, toodlez.