create your own "happily ever after"

- theres never going to be a "happily ever after" if you dont create it yourself. don't just dream of it, because its never enough. you can get so far, have all the money in the world and fame; but trust its never enough if you don't spend it on someone other then yourself. life isn't about being selfish, so mature and find that one person you truely love and create your own happily ever after, do more then just dream of it, chase it and make it come true. a person can do so much and get no where, sometimes your happily ever after will find you. so never give up either. thats what i've learned today.

to be continued... i have to go to sleep now. finals tomorrow.

sorry for....

-i'm sorry

sorry for.....turning this whole blog into a love journal. i'm sorry i can't ever seem to make up my mind, i'm sorry my blogs aren't as interesting as it started out to be.

but fuck it. its my blog, and i'll write as i please. lately i've been sorry for alot of things. but it stops here. no one is in control of this blog account but me, therefore it is mine and i can do and write what i want, how i feel, and my thoughts. this is me. im a roller coaster. take it as it is and who i am or fkc off.

my heart aches ............

- i feel like i can't even breathe sometimes just for the simple fact that hes always on my mind. last thing he said to me was he wants to be with me but just needs time to think about it. they say girls are hard to figure out, but guess what?!?! So are guys, what is there to think about, you should know what you want and if not then let it go?? Am i right??. I don't even know, i have so much going through my mind as each time i try to catch a breath or one big leap of air ,it hurts. my streangth has weaken without him. i am no longer strong. i thought i can be on my own, but i can't. i can't sleep, i can't stop having all these thoughts racing in my head, i can't stop questioning myself what if. i can't deal with this erghhh.

im quick to judge && JUNE birthdays

-heh, today i've learned to not judge as quickly as i do. and if i've judged you then im sorry. its just i hold up a wall and try to keep the bad from the good out of my life. i know its wrong now. because there are some good guys. today i judged someone a while back. and to find out hes not bad of a person. and although he likes me, i cant say much. i just know im not gonna let myself like him because at this moment im not ready to like anyone. i got a job and i have school to focus on. and thats all im going to worry about because i have to help my dad whom i love so much. hes my life. && everything that i do has to help him out in any way possible. other then that, i'm still happy. keeping my head up.havent been done as usual lately.

oh & yea this mornin i was on aim. and this boy whos name starts with a J who tired to talk to me awhile back, IM's me and his birthday is on june 16 as well as my lil bro and home boy keith. then i get on myspace and someone else's [no name] birthday is also on the 16th. suprisingly i left a comment for him and said happy belated. dont know why i did, but whatever. oh and this other guy's birthday is the same as sam's birthday nov 16th. what kinda ish is that. now that me and sam arent talking, its like everywhere i turn theres the thought of him. oh and today's our 7months, but it doesnt even matter anymore.
to be continue. gotta go and eat then get ready for work. 6-10

workin YAY =)

im finally working. got a job at the mall. hehe =)

finals are tomorrow

sam doesn't know what he wants, he has to think about it, but he wants to be with me. confuzed much?? i am to. its whatever, i got a job now. and i have no time for childish games and relationships. either we work it out or not. tomorrows our 7months. but whatever happens, happens. its mean to be. oh well

other then that. i cant wait to go go-kart racing && now paint balling as well. which are the weekend plans hopefully lols.

btw;; i got a new follower yay. ahah its jan!! hehe


okay im back ;;although the situation with me and sam is kinda still a blurr, a mystery, a question. i'll be fine. got my job, and im busy most of the time now. school && work. seems like i dont have time for alot. but im happy, because when i do have time, i have money at least LMAO. no need to ask daddy or rely on other people, which i hate to do. but they offer so what more can i say, i do turn them do but it never helps. anyways no i can offer to pay for them lols. schools almost out and i'll be puttin more hours in. maybe do something on the side for my own entertainment because going out and having a bf is out of the question.

im not even thinking of having a bf, im just all about the money and education. i dont even think about boys anymore. usually im online talkin to so many guys but now im barely even online even before my job, i stoped gettin online. i only go on, just to blog. no more myspace. i only sign-in in the morning and before i go to sleep to check if i get a message back from sam, because i guess we're tryna work things out, but now that he says he needs to think about it. i guess im freee. we're taking a break. we're not talkin anymore. idk lols. anyways im off this for now. toodlez