ahhh, theres nothing to do. i woke up && tried to go to sleep, but couldn't. and you ask why, well because i couldn't get sam off my mind. i haven't spoken to him since he said he wanted to be with me, yet needs to think things over. at 1st i thought it was his way of ending things, but then that wouldnt be right because sam's feelings are real and hes not like other niggas that say shyt and mess around. i soon realized that sam is actually thinking over things because i saw his status update. his mood said bummed, and his status said lost. i hope things between us work out, to be honest i dont even know why we're in this situation anyways.
oh yea, like the page?? i redid it. hehe =). other then that, is was a normal day. the usual, nothin specific or exciting today sorry to say. lols. well i guess i've spent a lil to much time on blog today, editing my page and what not. && there isn't much to say unlike other times. so i guess i'll be off this for now.
toodlez ;)
-Lmao okay so i just had this convo with my fkcface buddy kix;; dont ask about the nickname. because hes calles me fkcface too and honestly i don't even know how we started calling each fkcface or where it even came from. But uhm yea anyways we both live in the same state but different city, and we never met. we were suppose to meet but i rejfected him when he asked me to go to the mall to meet him and then i was suppose to go to his new yr's party. but i had no ride. lols. so far me and him has known each other for about 2 yrs. and I LOVE speaking to him. he cracks me up all the time. we have these weird conversations and they go on and on forever. especialy on facebook and myspace, we never write like one line to each other, its always like a frickin paragraph. but yea i think thanxz to kix thats how i met sam. cuzh i think sam found me off kix's page. lols or so sam says but i know he found me off ahem cough* j**'s page. 
"fkcface kix" (1:04:35 AM): i juss got back frum tha gym n i juss grubbed "fkcface kix" (1:04:37 AM): ill brb "fkcface kix" (1:04:39 AM): if ur still on "fkcface kix" (1:04:39 AM): lmao xxelsyee (1:04:44 AM): i'll still be on xxelsyee (1:04:55 AM): we're gonna make plans xxelsyee (1:05:02 AM): and your gonna fkcin give me my pho xxelsyee (1:05:02 AM): LMAO xxelsyee (1:05:08 AM): before you go to cali xxelsyee (1:05:17 AM): and maybe i'll miss you after xxelsyee (1:05:21 AM): if you make a good impression xxelsyee (1:05:22 AM): lols "fkcface kix" (1:06:10 AM): lmao wuss a good impression "fkcface kix" (1:06:16 AM): i aint gon stick it in u if thass wut ur askin "fkcface kix" (1:06:17 AM): lmfao "fkcface kix" (1:06:21 AM): im kidding xxelsyee (1:06:25 AM): LMAO "fkcface kix" (1:06:31 AM): its lik im fcukin mah boi "fkcface kix" (1:06:32 AM): lmao! xxelsyee (1:06:39 AM): doing mean ima do it with you when we 1st met "fkcface kix" (1:06:43 AM): unless i stick it in ur butt xxelsyee (1:06:47 AM): and shiet "fkcface kix" (1:06:51 AM): lmao "fkcface kix" (1:06:53 AM): ! "fkcface kix" (1:06:55 AM): :P xxelsyee (1:06:58 AM): oh my gosh xxelsyee (1:06:58 AM): LMAO
- theres never going to be a "happily ever after" if you dont create it yourself. don't just dream of it, because its never enough. you can get so far, have all the money in the world and fame; but trust its never enough if you don't spend it on someone other then yourself. life isn't about being selfish, so mature and find that one person you truely love and create your own happily ever after, do more then just dream of it, chase it and make it come true. a person can do so much and get no where, sometimes your happily ever after will find you. so never give up either. thats what i've learned today.
to be continued... i have to go to sleep now. finals tomorrow.
-i'm sorry
sorry for.....turning this whole blog into a love journal. i'm sorry i can't ever seem to make up my mind, i'm sorry my blogs aren't as interesting as it started out to be.
but fuck it. its my blog, and i'll write as i please. lately i've been sorry for alot of things. but it stops here. no one is in control of this blog account but me, therefore it is mine and i can do and write what i want, how i feel, and my thoughts. this is me. im a roller coaster. take it as it is and who i am or fkc off.
- i feel like i can't even breathe sometimes just for the simple fact that hes always on my mind. last thing he said to me was he wants to be with me but just needs time to think about it. they say girls are hard to figure out, but guess what?!?! So are guys, what is there to think about, you should know what you want and if not then let it go?? Am i right??. I don't even know, i have so much going through my mind as each time i try to catch a breath or one big leap of air ,it hurts. my streangth has weaken without him. i am no longer strong. i thought i can be on my own, but i can't. i can't sleep, i can't stop having all these thoughts racing in my head, i can't stop questioning myself what if. i can't deal with this erghhh.
