the break up letter

- heres the "letter" i wrote. && FINALLY i sent it, so now its completely over.

i called you about 10 times, but phones busy. idk i guess im just running out of energy trying to stay in this some what "relationship" or "whatever" it is that we have going on. almost 7months and we're gettin completely no where. i feel like i want us to work out more than you do, i feel like i've been puttin my all that i can even though i dont have a phone but i still try to keep in contact with you. cuzh i mean i did go see you and have been tryin to go see you again but your always busy or maybe you just dont want to. idk i guess im just saying lets move on. although when we met_________________________________________________. im not even gonna look at it that way, its whatever. now you can do whatever you want which you've probably been doing the whole time, and dont get me wrong im not madd or assuming anything at all. you can have your sweater back, i'll give it to you and then leave. and then yea thats it i guess. i wont bother you or be in your life from then on. goodnight.

&& it goes on, life goes on

- i was reading all of my previous blogs && i go back && forth alot. i made sam seem like the perfect guy, but if he was. i wouldnt have to 2nd guess him. so the truth comes out. hes not perfect. and maybe thats why i wrote that " break-up " letter. i think right now i just need to be single, think over things and figurre out what i want. not who i want lols. i have the future for that because after no matter how many guys and heart breaks, theres morre to come but life will always go on.

Sooo ....uhmmm

-okay so i went to school;; what a shitty day. raining and yea just totally ruined the mood. 1st period, my homeboy who im cool with but always seem to get into it with was sittin at a different table, with this new girl, who i didnt know was new because obviously i've been skippin school and like 2 other girls. [all of them being black, no offense, i am NOT racist]. but for some reason he had the nerve to tell them i dont like black guys, so those girls got offended and i overheard them saying alot of shyt and one of those things being said was do you want me to ask her why she don't like black guys. i wanted to so bad just to like say something because i can fuckin hear them im not death, and if you want to know why just ask. 5mins pass........they finally asked. and i said i dont know, i just never found them attractive, YET im talkin to a black guy now and its been almost 7 months- so its not like i have something against them, because i don't.

then we went to an award assembly, up till 4th period. got to 4th period and my teacher puts a hand on a student, so we all all these securities and what not.

5th period- had an argument with a teacher because she had lost someone's work, in which i had handed to her in her hand. so the blame was on me. so we're both arguing with her because the student handed me the paper to give to her and saw me give it to here therefore it wasn't like i did something to it. but whatever the student found the paper in the teacher's folder, stupid bitch.

6th period- through out the yr theres these 2 ghetto and i mean ghetto black girls who sit behind me, and always talk shyt about me. i think its pointless so i always bite my tongue, but today they said something that trigger me to want to come out and just burst out how i felt which im going to vent and do now.

to those to ghetto black bitchs
im not death ya knoe, i hear every wrd you say
if anything stop being to face if you think your so tough
and say shyt to my face, like seriously grow the fuck up duh,
no i am not perfect or try to act like jesus, dont hate me cuzh i look good
dont hate me because you can never be me, yea i get away with a lot of shyt
you would to, if you weren't so ghetto.

7th period- on my way to lunch. guess there was suppose to be a fight in front of the cafe, but everyone was like on top of eachother . there was no fight, people were pissed, so they started acting stupid, i got pushed to the floor then the lockers. that 2nd time i got pushed, all the anger i had through the day just ERGHHHHHHHH triggered me like a bullet wanting to burst the fuck out of a gun. i got up and was ready to starrt swinging at anyone, throwing puncheas at whoever, until my homeboy grabbed me by my hoody, literally almost picked me up and walked me the other way although i fought him not literally, but yea just so i can go back so i can have just one hit, just to get my anger out.

8th period- was the only good period. =)

after school sucked, at 1st it wasn't raining, but as i walked it started pouring. luckily i had an umbrella, the new guy who i thought i knew but didnt [ a couple of blogs perviously written about] who keeps starring at me during lunch was behind me and his home boy was walking with him and then came under my umbrella tryna talk to me and asked if i a had a boyfriend, no i dont. the end i took my turn and went home while he went straight.

speaking of boyfriends. i wrote a somewhat break-up letter to sam. its not a break up letter because we're not together, and you can't break something apart if its not together in the 1st place. but yea i wrote him a letter so we can stop talking. but i didnt send it to him yet because i actually want to say it on the phone or in person and give him his sweater.

the end. toodlez

short fat asian DUHHH

- lmao okay so on with the previous blog,enough about the new guy i dont know. more about the new guy i did know off myspace but never met until now cuzh he transferred to my school. he wrote to him yeedayy cuzh i thought i saw him, but it was the other new boy. so he left me a comment today and was like forreal? and im like nvm it wasnt you becuase i saw you today and thats not the same guy from yeedayy. and i said i think you saw me to . he tried to lie and said it was only a glanced. bullshyt he was SHOCKED. and he said i caught him, duh i know what i saw. lols. he thought i didnt know it was him lols. hahaha. funnay. oh wells. i asked how he knew it was me, because honestly i dont think i look like my pictures, but obviously sam thinks i do because hes still talkin to me, and of course other people who i've met in person off myspace also said i look like my pictures, im just extra short and they thought i'd be taller. haha nope. im only 4'11. oh well yea when i had asked him how he knew it was me he said i said i'd be the short cute asian. LMAO that is not something i'd ever say, hes lying. i said i'd be the short fat asian. i always say that. yes i have low confidence, oh well. can't help it. anyways ima go to sleep in bae's sweater, I MISS HIM, ergh i wanna see him again so bad, i need to.

i thought i saw my shawdow but it was you........

- at 1st i thought it was my mind playing tricks on me. but it wasn't. so it all started yesterday when i had lunch. 2 tables away from me was this new kid, && i thought it was this new kid that i had already knew off myspace but had never met in person cuzh he told me he transferred to my school. but then today as i walk to my 5th period class i saw the real one that i actually know off myspace, so im like oops the one at lunch is a different new guy, im like dayum so many new guys why are they new transferring, schools over. wdfuck. but whatever. today at lunch he kept starring at me and turnin his head towards me like ever 2nd literally, my home boy counted at least 20 times in LESS the a min. and the other homeboy who sat next to me was like it hink he thinks im your bf, and him starrin over here is getting irritating. idk what it was about me, but then i walked to my next class and oh shyt he has class right next to me, i didnt notice yesterday. class was over. time to go home. seemed as if he was followin me and i thought it was my mind playin tricks on me with my shawdo, i wish i had one of those shirts. hes cute and all but he doesnt even speak english, plus i'd only be his friend, nothing more. i already got my boo. but we can't even be friends, how would we communicate LMAO. but other then that, i had a great day =)